Long Distance

It was only when I saw you again that I understood how broken I’d been

I hadn’t seen you since the last full moon, every phone call we had turned violent with frustration

So in the unwanted absence of you I’d gone into survival mode

Every day that dragged by was spent waiting to take cover in the blue velvet refuge of the night

The next full moon came around

Yet I still didn’t realise I’d been in pieces until you showed up on my door

I felt myself come back together again at the sight of you

Suddenly I could recognize the feeling of being whole

Everything looked larger, but you looked smaller

I wondered if it was because you’d been gone so long

You were not larger than life anymore

Once upon a time trying to take you in left me dizzy

Not anymore, I see you with clarity now

But I was still reveling in feeling whole again, and your mouth became a river that flowed into mine, and I couldn’t quench my thirst because it would never be enough

I carried on drinking, every sip divine and melancholic

There are no surprises now

I know you’ll hurt me again

And then you’ll come over

And the healing shall begin



By Maz Halima

Writer, Londoner, Grime music lover, cat owner, glasses wearer, hug giver.

4 replies on “Long Distance”

We have to remember, those who have hurt us are capable of doing again, and yet, again. We go back hoping for different results, but the results will always be the same, as the people are still the same. We look at what might have been, but we fail to see what IS RIGHT NOW. So the hurt continues. Until we let it go.

Perhaps people as a whole do not value themselves, we do not respect our own being enough to not allow someone not to hurt us. Perhaps these are lessons we learn only as we get older, when time goes by, and then we wish we knew all this whilst we were younger, age brings true clarity of happiness, such a shame young people have to go through so much before it all becomes clear. And it does become clear.

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